Hi!
I’m Elena!
I’m Elena!I suffer from BPD, depression and anxiety and I invite you to come with me on a journey into the hilariously tragic events that make up my life. I share these things not for your sympathy, but because sometimes we find ourselves in other people’s stories.
While I do not promise that you won’t be offended by my sometimes irreverent humour, I do promise that at least a few of you will feel less alone in your own journey of insanity.
Ever since I can recall there has been something different about me. When I was sixteen my mom and I were discussing my life and it was decided that if I ever were to write down all the crazy things that had happened to me that nobody would ever believe that they had all happened to one person. That was many moons ago and the story keeps getting more incredible.
It took me over 20 years to realize that ignoring my mental illness and trying harder to hide my issues would not work. After a particularly spectacular breakdown I finally saw a doctor and began treatment for depression and anxiety which eventually developed into a diagnosis of BPD.
For the past 15 years I have been on a crazy roller coaster of a journey. I have tried all sorts of things in order to survive the rigors of modern society. On this wild ride I have experienced times of success and times of great failure. With the help of friends and family and possibly just plain dumb luck I’ve always managed to scrape by.
So far, I have held a staggering number of random jobs, some more successfully than others. Doctors have experimented with an astonishing number of combinations of medicinal and psychological treatments. Furthermore, and unsurprisingly, I have received copious amounts of both solicited and unsolicited advice from everyone under the sun.
But Why Blog About Mental Health?
I have come to the conclusion that unfortunately, there is never going to be a single “cure” for those of us who struggle with mental health issues such as BPD, anxiety and depression and this is because no two people are the same.
I have discovered that because of this uniqueness, I cannot rely on someone else to find the perfect solution for me, after all I am the only person who will ever be able to put enough (if we can call it that) time and or energy to figure out what may or may not work for me and I am certainly the person in this world that cares the most about my wellbeing.
I have come to realize that in order to find out what works for me I have had to bumble around and start trying even the things that a few years ago I said I would never be caught dead doing in order to find a formula that will work for my life.
To make matters worse, it is exhausting to realize that even though something works for you now, it doesn’t mean it will work for you forever. I have to constantly be on the lookout for new and different combinations of activities and routines to try to keep from falling into that deep hole that is BPD.
I decided to create this blog in order to share my experiments in functioning with you. This blog is an attempt to create a space where people can come to get some ideas compiled by someone who is also trapped in their own mind.
Use this blog as a source of inspiration but keep in mind that what works for me might not work for you, and what doesn’t work for you now might work for you in the future!
Above all if this blog helps even one person then it all will have been worth it.
Cheers!
~Elena <3