COVID Log – Isolation Date 040120.20
My emotions are on a rollercoaster, this has been a very strange week. Now, if you’ve been following me for a while you know that my emotions regularly swing violently, but this pandemic thing has brought that to a whole new level.
My week started off with a case of pinkeye. I know you are all wondering how I could manage to get pinkeye when I’ve been in isolation and I have no idea other than the possibility that it was caused when Fluffernut went a bit crazy with the affection and somehow knocked off my glasses and licked my eyeball. No matter how I managed to get it, I was at least pleasantly surprised when all I had to do was call my doctor’s office and get them to send a prescription over to the pharmacy for me. My doctor had told me he was making preparations for this pandemic emergency and as far as I can tell he’s done a great job.
So after spending the first part of the week doing not much other than thinking about random things while trying not to rub my eyes I had thought my way into a right state:
What if my doctor got sick from this virus and died?
Do all cats want to lick their owner’s face?
Do I have a strange cat?
I’ve lost weight, is there something wrong with me?
What if I never get to see my friends again?
Aren’t we all going to get this sickness anyway?
Maybe I should just get it over with?
How am I going to keep myself from going crazy?
Wouldn’t it be easier to self isolate if there were actual zombies in the street?
Maybe I’ve already gone crazy?
I’ve been facetiming with my niece and nephew, and online chatting with friends, but other than that and a quick trip to the grocery store for necessities I have not spent any time with another person in over a week (ever since the birdstove incident). I’m torn as to which would be worse, being stuck in a house with other people who would undoubtedly get on my nerves, or being stuck alone with nobody to interact with.
One of my main triggers for emotional breakdown has always been when my friends and family have holiday stuff going on with their families and I’ve been left alone. I’m finding that the twinge of desperation and loneliness is getting bigger and stronger every time I try to contact a friend to alleviate some of my boredom and they tell me they are doing something like playing a board game with their family and can’t talk right now. I don’t know how long I can last without interacting with my friends in person, I don’t do well when I’m this alone. I do at least have Fluffernut to interact with but that only goes so far, I mean she doesn’t have the ability to play a boardgame with me at all. I go through phases of being able to deal with this loneliness, but on days like today, when it was announced that the social distancing protocols are likely to stay in place until “at least” July, I don’t really see how I can manage this.
One light in my darkness this week has been attending some online art parties that are being put on by East Coast Art Party PEI. Twice a day they have an art party where a guy wearing a ridiculous costume teaches you to paint amazing things on a canvas using only five colours of paint. He tells bad jokes and they do some trivia questions in the live chat and it is really quite a nice way to spend two hours of your day. I’ve attended a few of the parties and been quite impressed with the quality of what I’ve produced. I even put the paintings up in the front window so people walking by outside can have something new to look at.
Today was a beautiful day and I tried to get some yard work done but I didn’t get very far before my body decided that I’d done too much. I found myself insanely upset by the sheer number of people who are continuing with their lives like everything is normal. Our province has shut down all playgrounds and park facilities and is telling people not to gather and I’ve been trying very hard to follow this, but I live beside a park and despite the signs and caution tape there always seems to be a park full of people! Between that and the constant line of traffic driving by I feel like I’m unnecessarily punishing myself by following the social distancing guidelines. Why should I follow them when nobody else is bothering about them?
Maybe that is the problem, the reason for this lockdown is just too ethereal. About a week ago I saw a fake news article saying that in Russia they had released 500 lions onto the streets to enforce the lockdown and despite the fact that I originally scoffed at the idea, I’m starting to think that perhaps we need to do something similar. Maybe we need to find and release something onto the streets that would give people a more urgent and pressing reason to stay home. If staying home to “flatten the curve” doesn’t hit home with people, maybe staying home to “avoid being eaten” might work better.
This is a great post. Honest, authentic, and those zings of humour that fit so perfectly. I enjoy your writing very much.
Really tough to be physically alone. well, not alone alone – you have Fluffernut, and that’s fortunate. Gotta tell ya, I pictured you making a video of trying to play a board game with Fluffernut….
HAHA! I should try and make a video.