My mom told me from as early as I can remember that “you aren’t human”. I’ve never quite fit the mold. There seems to be no box that can contain the entirety of the catastrophe that is me! In a world that struggles with identity and wanting to ‘fit in’ or figure out ‘who you are’ we are constantly inventing new labels and names for things. (more…)
As usual my life has been a chaotic nightmare lately. As I was finishing up an emergency visit with my doctor the other day to discuss the follow up to an injury from work and the ensuing loss of that job and my concerns about my latest mental instability my doctor made a specific point to say “you need to be really proud of yourself for how WELL you have been dealing with all of this lately”. (more…)
Lately I’ve been noticing some disturbing symptoms which seem to point to the fact that I MAY be becoming what the kids refer to as “old”. (more…)
It is a tradition in my family that this is the time of year that we all have emotional meltdowns. I grew up knowing that the last week of July/First week of August was going to be pretty traumatic. (more…)
One of the pieces of advice that I have received numerous times over the years is that a pet will help my mental health. This suggestion was usually met with “uhh I can’t successfully take care of myself so how is it fair to bring some poor innocent animal into this mess?” (more…)
Okay, we’ve all done it… in a moment of desperation and hopelessness we Google “reasons to live”. You know how I know? (more…)
I guess everyone hits that point where they realize that maybe they are becoming old and out of touch. I think that maybe I’ve hit that point. I like to think that certain things should still be the way that they were when I was younger, the simpler times, when people seemed to still give a shit. (more…)
In July 2015 I found myself in a really bad place mentally. I had once again hit the bottom of that deep dark hole that is mental illness. I found myself sitting on my couch bemoaning the fact that I couldn’t afford to get the help that I needed. Then, in a rare moment of clarity, I remembered an unusual way to combat anxiety I had been told by a therapist.
I often find myself saying “What am I going to do?” or “I don’t know what to do!”. In my search for answers to these questions I have found myself reading a large number of self-help type books. They often serve to inspire me to action (if only for a short while). This is probably why I was so drawn to my latest read (more…)
As I have found in the past, when life gets really uncomfortable I am often driven to experiment with ways to combat depression that I had previously dismissed as completely impractical and possibly even ridiculous.
A few days ago a friend said something that sparked in me an idea for an experiment. It was something I had heard before but I had never given it a chance. Boy am I glad I finally did! (more…)