Recently I got a fortune cookie and it said simply “be careful what you wish for because you just might get it”, this of course is wise advice that has been given to many people in many forms over the years. What I bring to you today is a conversation I had recently and of course the result of one of those wishes!
ME: I am so glad it is the weekend… if I had to work today I’d probably kill someone
FRIEND: Bad mood eh?
ME: Oh yeah! Quite spectacular really
FRIEND: Something happen?
ME: well it started when i checked my mom’s bank account last night…
FRIEND: Oh no.
ME: apparently last week she spent $1600 in a store that on the bank statement is only identified as [removed]
so that was 230am
which of course… you can’t do anything
and luckily boy was up so i was venting to him via text… then all of a sudden i’m pretty sure i had a stroke because my hearing went funny and i couldn’t see anything and i felt sick… that lasted for a while
then things started to get a bit better so i went to bed
but i couldn’t sleep
so i took an Ativan
then at 7am my phone was ringing and it was mom’s power company
and they wanted to tell me that a week from now there will be a power interruption in her building FUCK OFF ASSHOLES
so then i took that opportunity to call my brother… who of course didn’t answer his phone
i left a message saying it was urgent… and passed out again
woke up at 11…
called my brother again… still no answer
by then i feel like shit because well… my period which was over a week late decided to all show up at once when i was asleep
and i’m still groggy and stuff from the ativan
and i hadn’t eaten since 730 last night
so i get annoyed and text his wife
about 20 minutes later … i assume after a fight… my brother calls… he sounds really pissed… then i tell him what is going on… then he sounds really sick….
i still feel shitty and i dont want to eat because i am so stressed but i know it will help so i decide to go to wendys
that goes okay… but then the dollar store is right there… i go in to pick up more stuff to try and make this house smell not so… garbage pile
when i get to the cash the one cashier is arguing with the customer about something and he demands a void of something… but she doesn’t know how to do it… by now there are six people in line
she calls up someone… they instead of helping customers look at what she is doing and state they don’t know how to help and that she should call another person
then… instead of helping customers she just stands there staring at the screen with the first lady
repeat this process two more times… now there are four people staring at the one cash register… 12 people in line and NOBODY SERVING CUSTOMERS
one of them said “hey should i be serving customers?!” and the very first lady said “you might want to do that” and the person who asked the question said “no… i’d rather find out how to fix this….”
so then i finally get someone to serve me… and as i’m leaving she had jammed something in the bag so it cut the bag open which split and dropped everything all over the parkinglot
i get to my car… and some asshole decides to do a 27 point turn to back into the parking spot next to me
… now i’m home… i took my clothes off and put my pjs back on… and i just want to die
FRIEND: Are you still feeling sick?
ME: oh yeah… my life essence is painfully ripping its way out of my vagina right now
FRIEND: You should copy this conversation and paste it into your blog.
nobody wants to read that shit
FRIEND: I read it!
Well… there ya go then… I’ll not have someone say that I don’t listen to my readers! Lol!